Sorrow and Knee Jerk reactions

Ok so I am REALLY glad Eldest is not home at the moment.

I just found out that a good friend's son was killed by a roadside bomb in Afghanistan yesterday.

I am sick!

I cannot stop crying - my head is pounding and of course my knee jerk reaction is to TELL Eldest that there is no way in hell he will be joing the military in any way shape or form.  I don't care if he is planning to go in as an officier - I don't care if all he does is sit behind a computer screen all day...no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no

Well ...now that I have that little bit of unrealism out of my system :::sigh:::

19....he was only 19 freaking years old! He just graduated high school last year for crying out loud!

His mother and sister are devestated! Can you blame them?

I hate these damn wars.

Do these people even want us there "protecting" them?

I'm thinking if we want to protect the American way of life - keep all our soldiers here protecting our borders and as for those other countries ....just blow them up! It's what the government is trying to do one little piece at a time isn't it? Seriously....we have the capability why if we don't use it?

Yeah I'm not in a good place today ....

Off to do laundry for the ungrateful teen and preteen that live here who I wouldn't trade for anything in the world.

These wars really make me scared for my kids - in more ways than one!

Wow

I guess I pretty much lost everybody by not being around so much on here Makes me sad.

Yeah I know I go off and do whatever it is I've been doing, yet I just expect everyone to sit here and wait for me to type brilliantly.

I considered Nanowrimo this year....then wondered what I was smoking and why I wasn't sharing with myself - good gravy now I sound like I belong on The United States of Tara  But seriously - I need one more thing on my plate? and this one with a deadline?

Oh I know I'm not going to be hunted down and throttled if I don't finish - but - I figure that is one less thing to beat myself up over not finishing...know what I mean jellybean? LOL Cause  I am VERY good at the beating myself up thing - got that down pat!

Well nothing much to report today so I will bid adieu and wish all of you (?????) a very good weekend!

WHY?

Why can't everything go smoothly at the same time? even for just a little while?

I get the husband to stop acting like a bit of a butthead so then the doctor yells at me, I need testing ( bloodwork ekg, eeg etc. ) increased my blood pressure meds, told me that I do too much for others then told me I don't do enough excercise.  The meds ( antibiotics and drops) should start to help the headaches  -if I continue to have them then we will look into other things.  He did agree to send me to a neurologist based on the family history of MS and seizure disorder and migraines - just for an overall check up there but that will have to wait until the double ear infections and sinus infection clear up! And the usual - need to lose weight etc etc

Then - dropped Little Man's teacher a note this am - I know he is NO angel - so I really just wanted to make sure there wasn't anything I needed to address with him. Well got a letter back from her going on about how they need to learn social skills by trial and error and it helps to do it in the safety of a classroom because what will happen when he gets out in the world and goes up against other adults!? Then for good measure - because I brought up something someone said to him that cause him to be upset she felt the need to end with the fact that he hurt another students feelings the other day by telling them that black people aren't allowed at our house - LOVELY

No it has nothing to do with being predjudiced it has to do with my dog is a freaking psycho and cannot stand anyone with dark skin! So most likely he was trying to tell this kid why he couldn't invite him over.

I sent a note back telling her that I think my orignal note was misinterpretted and I just wanted to make sure Alex wasn't causing issues or making things up - I also pointed out ( in case she forget ) that he does have Aspergers and issues with impulse control.

Really - all I want to do right now is lay down and cry but can't cause I have the baby - well at least the doc will be happy I have no junk food to scarf down @@

No Clue

I have a pretty decent routine in the mornings... but when that gets disturbed ohhh boy.

No clue what just jogged my memory as to why I didn't take my meds this morning.

Such an integral part of my day - so necessary for me tofunction.

Just realized it when I snapped at Little Man and thought "Wow I just sounded like the hubster! that can't be good - why did I do that? "

I took the depression/anxiety med just before - no wonder my head felt especially *swimmy* today UGH

Could just really kick myself when I do these things.... cause I don't have enough problems with my head lately I need to create more!

Hub won't be happy but I ordered pizza tonight. In the throng of getting my youngest off to school - putting in laundry- and getting the baby in the house with all of her stuff ( my niece) I failed to take something out to defrost for supper.  Dave Ramsey would have my head I'm sure! But - what the hell is $20 more bucks right? @@

Ok - I'm out...and off...kilter for sure!

xo

me

Well...

Nonviolent communication went out the door this morning that's for sure.

Wonder why men inparticular can be so thickheaded?

I have done nothing but sit here and cry since 7:42 a.m.

No clue how things could go from being SO GOOD Monday morning to so freaking bad today?

I'm just really tired of being the mediator all the time and getting the shit end of the deal

Over a piece of railing? seriously?

I am ashamed of my own actions and words - but of course way too proud to tell HIM that....after all HE was wrong FIRST!

Juvenille? Yep But I guess when you live with it long enough it's easy to succumb to the game!

I need to think - logically and clearly. Oviously will not happen today!

UGH